Disclaimer: I’m telling you straight up, I’m no guru. I don’t claim to be a doctor or a scientist or anyone with any special letters after my name. I’m going to write about my experiences in roughly 60 years on this earth, a few things I have learned, even just today.
This post is gonna be more like a crash course in the depths of the mind. It will be like study, so stick with me.
You’re still here!? Wow! I’m impressed! Super! Let’s dig it…
You know, usually when we think of a Journey, we think of going somewhere else. Away from where we are.
They talk about exploring space, when we don’t know about our own planet. There are things about our oceans we don’t know, things we have yet to see.
We’re always going SOMEPLACE ELSE. We are hopping in cars, planes, trains, boats, always to GO SOME WHERE ELSE but how often to we spend the time to visit ourselves?
This post won’t appeal to everybody. Most are busy in their day to day lives. Too busy to consider reading much less self exploration.
We live in our minds in our thoughts in our conscious all the time but we never go there to see how we’re doing you know? Does that make sense? This Journey is called Psychology.
Various Types of Psychology
There is all kinds of psychology on earth, western, eastern, everyone’s got their own thoughts on it, their own ways of exploring it.
In the west there is psychology and psychiatry. Psychology is the study of the mind. Psychiatry also studies the mind but prescribes pills for what they would term “ailments”. They come up with “labels” (which we never had as kids). Once labeled, the subject gets treated as that label.
But guess what.. YOU are NOT that label. If you have been labeled anything, it’s only related the area and culture you were born into or decided to follow.
Most of my readers are from the west where people get labeled and prescribed drugs. Some people swear by their pills and feel they can’t live without them. Once again, I’m no doctor but I’d just like to say that this is not the way the entire world looks at one’s ailments.
I want to say that there might be another approach. Let us attend…
Can we think of all the various methods of “treating” the mind?
Psychotherapy (I guess they’re all forms of psychotherapy)
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Nero Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Scientology talks about the ARC Triangle (Affinity, Reality, Communication)
I’m sure there’s more. I’m not going to go into all of them. The are similar in ways, possibly only separated by semantics. You might even say that they are all forms of brainwashing.
Maybe “mental training” is a better way of saying it because “brainwashing” or “programming” bring up negative connotations. Are they not all changing the brain though?
Mental Training (Reprogramming the brain) can be in a good way or a bad way. Just like a car can be used for good, to bring travellers to their destinations, the same car can also be used for evil as we have seen in past. Same vehicle, different intention. So let’s not consider changing the way we think as a bad thing. We are going on this journey to make us stronger.
Ever notice how all of the above have one thing in common? They all bring up the past! The therapist usually sits you down and ask you “where did it all start?” They try to get to the root of the cause. They take us back to sometimes unpleasant places, dark places in an attempt to reclassify those events. Make us look at things in a different way. The problem with this is that the subject may never leave that place! Great strategies but they miss the main point, how do we get back?
The western fix to this is drugs. So we are to use drugs to mask the symptoms? I don’t think this addresses the problem. Only the symptoms.
In order to prescribe the drugs, the doctors must first “LABEL US”! They label adults and children alike! One “LABELED” those people think they are THAT LABEL! … “Oh, well I’m Learning Disabled, therefore I need (insert drug here)”. The subject is not Learning Disabled. They might learn things differently or maybe not at all. I can’t play piano like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Does that mean I’m learning disabled? I don’t consider myself disabled in any form.
Imagine those prescribed drugs by a doctor now living life believing that’s all they are, “disabled” for example.
I’m not saying that there are some conditions that may benefit from certain drugs. As I said, I’m not a doctor or a scientist, I’m just pointing out that there may be another way and wouldn’t it be wonderful if this can help in any way?
To give another example, most western doctors automatically treat heart disease with special drugs whereas Dr. Dean Ornish proved scientifically over 30 years ago, that heart disease can be reversed through vegan diet.
This was powerful to me;
YOU ARE NOT BROKEN AND YOU DON’T NEED TO BE “FIXED”!
YOU ARE STILL YOU! YOU ARE STILL THERE, YOU JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET BACK!
By get back, I mean to a place of Contentment and Peace.
Sidney Banks (January 25, 1931 – May 25, 2009) used the three principals of psychology, Mind, Thoughts and Consciousness;
Once again, I’m no expert at this. I’m still learning myself but above we have Three Principals;
Mind: This principle refers to the universal intelligence or life force that flows through all living beings. It represents the source of creativity, insight, and understanding.
Consciousness: This principle pertains to awareness—the ability to perceive and experience life as it unfolds. It highlights how consciousness allows individuals to be aware of their thoughts and feelings.
Thought: This principle emphasizes that thoughts are powerful tools that shape our reality. Understanding this allows individuals to see that their feelings are a reflection of their thinking rather than external circumstances.
As well we have three mindsets, Low, Neutral and High. The goal is to stay mostly neutral. Highs are great but not sustainable and lows are ok to visit when we have to but we must not dwell there.
It’s sad that some will never leave the low state. Anthony Robbins, another great study of the mind noted that “the mind takes no time at all to change. The mind can change in an instant.” It’s the driver that’s in charge of this.
Let’s KISS - Keep It Simple (…)
Thoughts control the Mind. The mind then sets the stage on how we react. Consciousness (this is my interpretation ok?) is how we live how we act as a result of the other two.
We each have a choice whether to live in our thoughts, which could be bad or we could realize that we are living in a Low place and we need to have something, some way of not staying there.
It’s ok to visit the past but the past is gone. It’s over. No one lives there anymore! We can learn from it sure, but we must find a way to get our Thoughts back to reality. No one that we know of, lives in the future either! Our only reality is NOW. Not the future or the past. This is all that is real to us, right now, as you are reading this.
In NLP, they use “anchoring” techniques where the subject associates a word for instance with a good thought, so whenever they are in a dark place, they can use this word, or maybe it’s touching their heart or snapping their fingers or something to remember their place.
I’m not even going to use the term “happy place” I think it should be a place of “contentment”. Contentment is more realistic and long lasting. Of course we are human and we have to have the highs too but again, let’s not linger there or in the lows. This way we create;
STABILITY!
Isn’t that what we all thrive for? We want to be stable of mind and body, which is a great segue into;
Structure, Activity, and Connection
I borrowed this one from Alcoholics Anonymous. I’ve never been an alcoholic. In fact I rarely drink. I’m just showing how we can borrow psychology from various aspects of life.
AA used the three principals of sobriety are structure, activity, and connection. Those are important.
Sobriety doesn’t necessarily have to mean sober from drugs or alcohol. Sobriety could mean clean of thoughts or actions that do not empower us. Addiction to anything is not helpful.
Deep down we are all just humans. Humans are a tribal animal. We need Connection with other humans, we need Activity and some sort of Structure. Not to say that we can’t bend and change to adapt but in some form, we need those three things.
This is another great segue into the methods we use to get back to the place of
Stability and Peace
Many today run to drugs or alcohol. This brings them to their “Happy Place”. What did we say about happy place? It’s the far end of the spectrum. It is unsustainable and unstable. What goes up, must come down. Some rely on prescription drugs. Usually they don’t work. They come with a bunch of side effects and are not sustainable. If you listen to the commercial about anti depression pills, the first thing they say is that they could cause depression! Now they even have pills to take ON TOP of the antidepressant pills! Like you’re already on pills but they want you to take more, they tell you that they could cause all these side effects and every commercial ends with “ask your DOCTOR if such and such is good for you”. Wasn’t it your doctor who prescribed the pills in the first place?
I thank God that I have never been one to jump to drugs or alcohol to take myself away from a problem. We’ve all heard the term “Are you out of your mind!? Think about it. If you are already sad or depressed or anxious or nervous or down about something, are we not already “out of our minds?” Don’t we want to be in a place of Stability and Peace? If we are any of those other things we are obviously out of our minds, not where we want to be.
What do drugs and alcohol do? The take us “out of our minds!” But this is INCORRECT! We don’t want to be MORE out of our minds, we want to be BACK to a place of Contentment, Stability and Peace! This is called “BEING OF SOUND MIND” (and body).
Am I making any sense? You can stop me anytime now! Still with me? Still here? Super! Lots more to come.
I know this is a lot to take in. Let’s take a 5 minute break. Have some water, stand up stretch a bit but not to the point where it hurts… Ok you’re back!? Wonderful! Welcome back! You are truly a 1%er. You are part of the Elite 1% of the population who reads this stuff!
In Contract Law, it could be argued that if someone signed a contract and were not of Sound Mind and Body at the time of signing, the contract would be null and void. Of course this depend greatly on who has the better lawyer and the judge that day but you get the point. We can’t contact if we are not of Sound Mind - That’s where we want to be.
Training of the mind is not unlike any other training. Nobody’s perfect at anything, except God. The best in the world at anything, must still train to get better so they keep their position. They don’t stop training just because they won some title or reached some epiphany. They must strive to learn new things and practice them until they become even more proficient at them.
From the cradle to the grave (and likely beyond that) our entire lives are a learning experience.
Training the mind is the same thing. I don’t expect to be perfect but I do expect to be a better version of myself each day.
Nobody is impervious to mental anguish. We are all human. We will all have to face good times and bad.
Tools to deal with Emotions
Our emotions are an accumulation of mental stress.
I think the key to dealing with any type of mental anguish, be that grief or depression or fears or anxiety etc, I feel the key is to realize where we’re going (into one of those places) and when. Maybe something triggers us, a memory, a sight, a smell, a touch, something we heard and BOOM! There we are back in the same place again! If we learn to realize where we are, we can meet it with WOW! Look where I am (again)! Instead of instantly going downward into the abyss, let us learn where we are and what tools we can use to get us back to “normal”, contentment and peace. Look at it with AMAZEMENT instead of DREAD. Does that make sense? Doesn’t matter what the situation is, it’s where that situation takes you. How you react to it. Take any situation that put you into any of those state as above, you know, anguish, be that grief or depression or fears or anxiety etc, now instead of relating that place to these emotions, try looking at the situation with WOW! Or AMAZEMENT.
I know, it sounds crazy. “My life partner just died. Wow! I’m Amazed!” No, that’s not what I mean. Grief is a normal human emotion. We will all experience it. We will all have to grieve in our own ways, take our own time with it. I’m talking about after, years after, we can all get triggered and taken back to these dark places. Now is the time you have to realize where you are going and to meet this emotion with Wow or Amazement instead of dread and darkness.
Death is a reality of life. Loss is a reality of life whether its the loss of a person, animal or things we are attached to, a business a home etc, they are all losses and they all effect each of us differently.
Some may look at this as heartless. Nothing could be further from the truth. My fear, even for myself, is that we can easily fall into the abyss, never recovering from a loss. That’s no way to live. There’s a time to grieve but there’s a time to live also. There will be more times that we have to grieve as well. Why not try to live most of the time in a place of Stability, Peace, Understanding and Love?
We don’t even have to worry about being in this place of Peace and Stability all the time. All we have to do is be there NOW. Just for the moment or the hour or the day or the week. Baby steps. Don’t beat yourself up for revisiting the past once in a while.
My Own Story
I thought I had it all. I had a lovely wife. We were together since we were teenagers. We brought up two wonderful children. I had a my own business. We had two dogs over the years. I closed my business in pursuit of another avenue. In April of 2023, my wife passed away. She was just 56 years old. My son and daughter moved out, one out of state. Prior to being with my wife, as teenagers, we were with our parents you know? So I truly have never been alone before. A year, nearly to the day after the passing of my wife, my dog died. My son came back for Christmas. He told me “Dad, when I’m here, all I can think about is the past. Where I am now, there is no history. All I can think about is the future.” I can see that. He’s out there now carving his own path in life, moving forward. Taking him back to the airport after the holidays was a real low point for me. I drove myself back home, into an empty house.
I’m gonna leave it at that. My own darkness goes way deeper than that. I don’t want to resurrect the pain more than I need to to tell the story. I will say that I learned about one very helpful number, aside from having some close friends to talk to in these dark times, I will admit, I leaned on 988 several times. 988 is the suicide hotline. It’s available in US and Canada. I called them because of the pages of help and crisis lines I have noted, many of them didn’t answer. Some would just ring ring ring, nobody would answer. Others were “intake” numbers. You leave your information and 6 months down the road, you might get to talk to someone. They were not helpful. 988 always answered and through 988, with option 4, you can reach the Hope for Wellness hotline. They support indigenous people however under the principal that we are all one, I decided to try that option. I have to say the indigenous councillors are amazing! They are way more in touch with humanity than most. They have extreme empathy and compassion and many have first hand experiences to draw from. This is not to take away from those who man the suicide hotlines but really, they are trained to assess whether someone is suicidal or not and they would then dispatch help. The indigenous councillors are made up of Indian Elders and teachers that really seem to know and care. I can’t speak highly enough about them. They are all wonderful. There was one that was so helpful in fact that I keep in touch with her even now.
We are all students of life. Life, learning, it’s all process. We must learn to Trust the Process.
Selfishly, I’m writing this for my own benefit as well as yours, you know!? Writing it helps me to understand it a bit better and writing helps get it off my chest… or back… or both.
Let’s just not hang out there, in the past, ok? Let’s learn when we feel we are going there. Let’s learn what triggers us to go there. Maybe thoughts, maybe smells, maybe sights, etc. Listen to your body! It’s not only mental but physiological changes that happen when we are slipping in to the abyss. Realize that you might be thinking, I’m ok, I’m ok but if you feel your are slipping, come back! Think of what you were doing just before. You were ok at one point weren’t you? Let’s go back there. Remember it doesn’t have to be a happy time, only a content time. A time of contentment, peace, understanding and love. That’s a good stable place to be.
Who are we?
Who are you? Who am I? We all have names. We all have things we do, like maybe you’re a doctor or a lawyer or a dentist or a carpenter or you could be a husband or a wife or son or a daughter or some use their religion like saying they are a Muslim for example. They put this identity even before their country or their own name. These are just examples of what or who people think they are but the truth is, we are none of that! We are not our name. Our name, all those labels are just identifiers. So who are we then?
We are Love and Understanding
If more people got just that, what a wonderful world it would be. If you carry this with you, wherever you go, your energy will say this to others. People will want to talk to you. You will be at peace with yourself and others will immediately pick up on this.
You know some people walk around like they have a chip on their shoulders and they seem to want to fight, mentally, physically. This is what they will attract and this is not the “the Law of Attraction”, it’s more about the right people will be repelled by this energy and therefore no connection. But those also in the mindset of fighting will find comfort in those of the same minds.
This is not being passive. There is a time to fight if it means self defence. Let’s just not carry it with us all the time looking for it. The default state should be love and understanding.
In my martial arts study, we had the teacher of my teacher come to train with us a few times per year from Russia. He once said, “Don’t hate your enemy but don’t love them either” aka it’s best to be more neutral. You can’t fight from either position, hate or love. They are too far apart at opposite ends of the spectrum. To love your enemy is like the Stockholm Syndrome but to hate them, clouds judgment. Also not good.
It’s similar to above isn’t it? We have the Lows, Neutral and Highs. Being in a place of Love, Understanding, Contentment and Peace to me is a much better, more sustainable place. This is a place of Strength and Compassion whereas the place of hate and fighting is draining. Even the Prize Fighter doesn’t fight every day. The weights that Bodybuilders train with, don’t build up the muscles, they break them down! It’s the REST that builds them back!
You are not alone! Ever!
You don’t know me. I don’t know you but I am your brother, you are my brother or sister. We are all connected through the energy of the universe. Not only us humans but all the animals all the trees and the grass and the insects and all the beings in in the waters, we are all connected. You are never alone.
This is one of the many reasons why I don’t eat the animals. I don’t purposely kill insects either;
Genesis 1:29
“And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.”
You’ve heard the saying “We are spiritual beings living in a human experience” and you have likely heard “Energy cannot be created nor destroyed” Energy can only change form. We are energy. We are carbon, atoms, flesh, bones, blood, water. When all that is gone what’s left? Energy. Some say this is the soul.
Nobody knows for sure. We don’t know where we came from. We don’t know where we’re going but safe to say we don’t know everything. To say we had all the answers, to say we knew everything would be arrogant and unscientific. Science is the study of things.
To study means we don’t know something. We study it to learn more about it. Scientists create Hypothetical Theories, hypothesis, of how something should work. Most science is nothing more than theories. Theories that stand until proven otherwise. Some of Einstein theories written 100 years ago are now being challenged. I believe some are now thought to be wrong. Sorry Einstein.
Without this natural curiosity and inquisitiveness about things, there would be no science. We’d still be writing on cave walls because, well, that’s what everybody else does right?
I’ve learned from so many teachers. A teacher is anyone. Even those that we feel can’t teach us anything, teach us something.
People come in and out of our lives for reasons. Each of them teaches us lessons. I’ve been blessed with having many many wonderful teachers. I’ve had teachers from all walks of life. Parents, family, friends who have been teachers to me. Scientific teachers, Spiritual teachers, Religious teachers. I’ve learned from various martial arts teachers, I’ve learned from western psychiatry, psychology, doctors, lawyers, all kinds of different business people. In the east Ive learned from Europeans, Asians, North American Indians. Each has their own style. Their own beliefs and cultural ways. Personally if I had to chose, western medicine would not be my first choice. It would be a last choice if any. I like the old school ways. I like to feel connected to this great mother earth (be it flat or spherical, I don’t care). They all have their place you know? Like if I broke a leg, I’d be going to hospital to have it set but I feel the pharmaceutical industry has way too much power in the west and it’s all about pushing drugs. I think we have to have the right tool for the job you know? When it comes to dealing with the mind, I feel drugs are not the answer wether you get them off the street or from the Government Drug dealers. I think we have at least opened some doors here to other possibilities.
Burning Sage and Frankincense
In Orthodox Church, they burn incense. I think it’s Frankincense? I have some of that at home that I burn and I’m also burning sage, almost every day! These herbs are strong medicine! I didn’t know how to spell Frankincense, so I looked it up and look what else I found!
People use its oil on the skin and in aromatherapy. Frankincense oil seems to kill some types of bacteria and fungi (yeasts).
It can prevent the production of inflammatory substances in the joints. Current evidence, based on four RCTs, suggests that it might have some beneficial effects in treating participants with osteoarthritis of the knee which might last for a period of time after treatment is stopped.
Sage also has many benefits;
https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-burning-sage
Psalm 141:2 - "Let my prayer be directed as incense in thy sight: the lifting up of my hands, as evening sacrifice."
Both are mentioned in the Bible. Sage also noted to have antibacterial properties, cleansing the air of things that give us allergies dust, pollen etc as well as it chases bugs away.
Doesn’t take much. A few leafs is all you need each time but it can (and should) be done regularly. Here’s more info…
I’m gonna finish this post with a story about the beyond.
As mentioned before, we don’t know everything. Therefore it’s logical to keep an open mind. There are clearly things we don’t understand. Maybe all will be revelled to us one day.
My dad died June of 2009. During the funeral there was this large dragonfly that stayed with us. At one point I thought it would land on my hand but it didn’t. It just stayed there about arms reach away.
Later we’d be at my son’s soccer games and there would be the (a) dragonfly. My wife and I agreed that it was a sign from my father saying he’s always with us.
My wife passed at 0600h. After being at the hospital with her every day, leaving there was the hardest thing I have done. My son was with me. We went home. I didn’t know what to do but I just couldn’t stay in the house. I said to my son, ‘let’s take the dog for walk’.
We live close to a graveyard so we usually walk in there. It’s quiet for the dog. No cars, less people. In the path in front of me was something shiny. I reached down to pick it up. It was an earring. Earrings are typically from women. On top of that, it was a dragonfly!
Keep in mind this is literary just after she passed!
My first thought was that I shouldn’t take anything from the graveyard so I gave it to one of the employees. Later I told this story to my Indian Elder brother, Grey Eagle, another one of my great teachers, who said “No! No! You must go get it! That was meant for you!”
Every day for the next few weeks I would go back asking for the earring but nobody seemed to know about it. Then one day, my son and I were walking the dog there. My son recognized one of the girls that worked there he knew from school. She was more helpful. She found the earring for us but it was broken in half. She gave it back to us. I glued it together.
So now we have an earring, a feminine object, put in our path on the same day my wife passed and the fact that it was a Dragonfly. The significance of the Dragonfly was something my wife and I shared. And now it was broken in half, like we are separated, although with the glue and some knowledge, I now truly believe we are always together.
But wait! There’s more!
Later, a dear friend and I would travel to Mexico. I told my brother Grey Eagle that we were going and he said “there will be something there that you will bring back for me”. I’m thinking, “does he want me to bring him a gift? Sure, just ask!”
Our room in the resort was on the ground floor overlooking the Ocean. There was a little patio where we’d sit and watch the Iguanas walk by. One day walking by in the grass I saw something shinny. I picked it up. I was another Earring! And THIS TIME it had THREE FEATHERS!
Once again, thinking someone might have lost it, I put it on a plastic table in front of our unit so people walking by might take it (hopefully if it was theirs) but nobody took it! I asked people, “was this yours?” nobody claimed it So I brought it back with us and gave it to Grey Eagle.
Now tell me what are odds of finding a 2nd earring all the way out in Mexico, in front of our unit, IN THE GRASS AND it having Three Feathers? What are the odds of that!?
BUT WAIT! There’s Even MORE!
Back at home, again with my dear friend, we would be in a store called the White Feather.
The fact that the store is called White Feather is already coincidental enough (there are no coincidences in life). It’s a country store. Usually they have baked goods and stuff but it has expanded over the years. I hadn’t been there in years but this particular time, they had some pillows for sale on the top shelf. Each was different. They all had their own image stencilled on them.
I immediately saw this one pillow had a great big Dragonfly on it! There was ONLY ONE! I had to buy it. The way it was situated on the shelf, I saw it had writing on it but didn’t realize till later what it said. The writing said; “Wish Good Luck - ALWAYS WITH YOU”
ok that’s three right? There were more things I can’t explain. All I can take from this is know that we don’t know and keep an open mind.
I know now that wherever life takes us, I’m, WE’RE Never alone!
Well, it’s 0400hrs. My hope is that this post might help one person out there in some way. Maybe not even immediately but perhaps the seeds are planted and maybe later in life, if they don’t need it now, they will remember these concepts and that they may bring them peace, stability, understanding and love. Amen. 🙏
